Post by Jvstice Hardy on Dec 18, 2022 2:09:52 GMT
“a little more wind from a little more speed
tryna hold on, but it’s pulling me
side effects they’re killing me
side effects they’re killing me
every time you try to break me
i feel my heart decaying
every time you try to break me down”
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
There was a nervous breath inward as he made his way backstage, for some reason he’d thought it would’ve been hard to get into the backstage area even with his Uncle Robb running the show, but it seemed he’d been proven wrong when he’d been allowed to burrow his way through. In truth, he felt like a fan sometimes and he got to see a lot of people he didn’t really feel like he would’ve met otherwise, and yet, the other part of him wanted to remember to be focused. He wasn’t some kid anymore, and he definitely had a lot on his shoulders.
Thankfully his anxiety didn’t have time to creep up on him however, and what he thought would’ve made him a nervous wreck actually was saved when he saw the familiar presence of his cousin Alice there. While she no longer carried the last name Hardy, for reasons unknown, Jvstice had respected her decision to go by whatever she wanted to. Its not like his mom had initially named his Jvstice, he’d had to get it changed just before shipping off in the military because he didn’t like being synonymously compared with the entire moral implication of the world in accordance to law. The ‘v’ seemed to add enough of an oddity that people hardly questioned the meaning behind it and just said something along the lines of “that’s fucking weird” and went on about their business.
He just laughed at them truthfully, seeing as bands all over the world were now stealing his trend. Pvris, Wvvtches, Jvdas, among others all seemed to be proclaiming a similar usage of the letter v and quite frankly he thought it was pretty bad ass.
Nevertheless, running into Alice he’d decided that with Uncle Robb being tied up with some mess with one of his staff members (apparently some wrestler paid off a referee to help them win, insane right?) Jvstice asked Alice if she wanted to go grab some food and catch up since it’d been so long since he’d seen her and somehow they wound up doing just that.
Jvstice Hardy: “Never been to The Great White North before, so if you have any tips about it, They’d be greatly appreciated cuz.”
He laughed now making himself comfortable in the chair he’d sat at in whatever restaurant they found that was still open so late at night.
Alice Wagner: "He asked the chick who has spent all her life between Las Vegas and Phoenix"
She added with a chuckle. Never one to go unnoticed, the young girl definitely caught the attention of the patrons for her unique style. The pink and black hair, piercing and plugs as well as the tattoos adorning her arms once she rolled up the sleeves of her black hoodie.
Alice Wagner: "Only thing I know about Canada is maple syrup, but I doubt we can feed on it. I'm starting to think we should've asked uncle Robb."
He made a big-eyed gesture before letting out a laugh once again.
Jvstice Hardy: “The Rockstar hasn’t traveled the world yet? Man I’m going to have to lend you some of my frequency flyers then, let you get a little taste of what tour life is going to be like when you strike it big.”
He offered a wink before again shuffling himself in his chair trying to get comfortable, one thing about being the size he was, was that it wasn’t always easy to find comfortable arrangements, while there were definitely bigger in the world, being in the army and police training had certainly influenced his overall size aside from taking after his father with broad shoulders.
Jvstice Hardy: “Course someone told me as long as you eat ketchup on everything you should be good, so maybe we can swing it that way.”
Alice lowered her gaze, covering her face with both hands.
Alice Wagner: "Oh my God, I was like fourteen! How do you still remember?"
A soft chuckle followed her words, one that Jvstice quickly echoed.
Alice Wagner: "To be fair, I'm no longer in my ketchup phase. But it DOES make some food taste better."
Her eyes scanned the menu, every now and then she scrunched her nose at some of the traditional dishes.
Alice Wagner: "I was surprised when you said you were coming to the show as well. But I'm very glad you did, I missed you."
Justice smiled at that thought. To hear she’d missed him may have seemed like such a small thing to most people, but in truth he too missed his family a lot, especially one particular member of it though he didn’t necessarily want to go into details on that. He wanted this to remain a positive visit.
Jvstice Hardy: “Its that genius brain of mine, I can remember line Act II Line Four of Almost, Maine. Yet I can’t seem to remember to get control of my words when I need to fluently convey something.”
He was only mildly joking of course, yet there was still some truth in his statement.
Jvstice Hardy: “I’ve missed you too though, seriously. You know overseas it was tough, then I came back home, expected a little family get together and everyone had just vanished. It really sucked you know?”
He didn’t like bringing up sour subjects, but it was true, the whole ordeal had sucked after his return from the military. . . okay well maybe not all of it, but he wasn’t really ready to delve into that story just yet. He just wanted to reiterate that he whole-heartedly had missed her, so very much. Even if that wasn’t the tough guy thing to do.
Alice Wagner: "Yeah…"
Her mood immediately changed. Not only because, just like her cousin, she missed her family. There was more to it, a sense of guilt weighing down on her, being on of those who had vanished.
Alice Wagner: "I… I couldn't stay there anymore, not after what my dad did… It crushed me, you know?"
This was the second time in less than a week that she found herself opening up on a topic she avoided mentioning for over a year.
Alice Wagner: "I don't know if it makes any sense but… I was feeling guilty of something I didn't even do. I know nobody could blame me for my dad's actions, but still, I felt this overwhelming sense of shame and guilt.. I couldn't take it. I couldn't go to school without physically feel the judging look of my friends, even of those who tried to help. It was too much, I.. I had to go.. "
Her voice cracked at the end of her heartfelt speech, emotions were starting to get the best of her.
He stared at her emphatically. If there was really anything about Jvstice that stood out amongst many it was his empathy, he hadn’t meant to make her feel bad about leaving or doing what she needed to do for herself. Hell they all had, including him really. He hadn’t gone to the Army because he wanted to be all you can be. At least not at first, he’d learned to respect his place there and he did his tour to serve his country, but he knew all about being ashamed of dad’s even if it were for different reasons.
Jvstice Hardy: “Hey I get it, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad about it. I know that shit was tough to deal with.”
He actually didn’t know how hard it was because he hadn’t been there, but knowing that she probably felt as deeply empathic as he did, he could imagine she carried the weight of what happened pretty wholly. He’d always wondered where she’d gone off too when he signed up to be a police officer for the short time he had been while paying for wrestling school. You know the whole “making it my own way” thing until Uncle Robb stepped in because his pops refused to.
Jvstice Hardy: “Well let me rephrase, I imagine it was hard to deal with. I’m always afraid of it myself now that I’m accepting bookings, are they going to know what happened, is the family name going to hinder or enhance my capabilities, its a tough road to navigate. You probably did the right thing. Getting away from it all.”
He paused because he was not the type to just run away from his problems, but he wasn’t about to make it about himself.
Jvstice Hardy: “But you know. I want to get past that. I want to get back to a place where my name means something again, and maybe that's naive, but I feel like I can make that positive impact through my own means. It might be across the pond in the UK, but its a start at least.”
She listened to him carefully and thoroughly, her eyes even lit up a bit when he talked about how he wanted to somehow redeem the family name. You’re not a Wagner… You’re a fucking Hardy. The words her uncle Robb told her resurfaced from a corner of her mind. Could there be a redemption story to be written for her as well? Right now, after watching her first wrestling show in over a year, she had no doubts: the passion for the sport never died, despite her attempts to suffocate it. But she still perceived her last name and the blood coursing through her veins like a curse, like something that sooner or later would take a toll on her.
Alice Wagner: “I know you can do it, Jvstice.”
She suddenly blurted out, finding her way back to reality after getting lost in her own thoughts.
Alice Wagner: “You never stop, once you set a goal, you just keep going until you get there. That’s something I always admired in you.”
Those words came straight from her heart. Honest and sincere, spoken in the softest of tones while staring at her cousin. She realized that this was the first time she told him that, but this seemed like the perfect moment.
Alice Wagner: “Nothing is unattainable for Jvstice.”
He couldn’t say anything for several moments, his eyes stayed fixated on her and the words she’d said took a minute to sink in. He never quit, that wasn’t necessarily true he supposed, though he considered stepping away from something harmful to your health and quitting to be two different things. Some things needed quitting, but he wasn’t trying to overanalyze her words, because he knew she meant them. Alice was genuine, smart, and she stood out for good reason. He admired his cousin greatly.
Jvstice Hardy: “Well damn Ali, thank you. You’ve got me speechless now.”
He said though the smile on his face that truly reached all the way to his eyes told her that he genuinely meant that too.
Jvstice Hardy: “I wish I could say you were right about that though. I do quit sometimes, more often than I should. I guess not a task that I set my mind to, but I give up on people sometimes. I give up on me sometimes.”
That sounded strange considering it was all bottled together, but this is what he’d been talking about when he said he couldn’t always get his words right, especially when his emotions were strong and he hadn’t really thought about what he wanted to say exactly.
Jvstice Hardy: “I don’t know, you know Dad and I were having problems before. Not just that he left my mom to travel all over and wrestle, but he blamed her for other things too. Making me the way I am for instance.”
Why was he having a hard time saying this?
Jvstice Hardy: “I mean its weird you know? One day I was happily content with a girl i’d met at school, the next some guy is catching my eye and I feel things about him. . . Nick (because he refuses to call him dad when he’s talking about him directly) flipped out, I ran off to the army haven’t seen him since. I really do get where you’re coming from. So yeah I’m no Ban Ki-Moon. Don’t rate me so highly cuz.”
He measured with a smirk trying to ease the emotional intellect it took for him to say that aloud. There was still a part of him that was afraid to admit it, even though he often felt like he really wasn’t ashamed, but maybe deep down somewhere in there, that past trauma made him feel some type of shame.
Alice stared back at him for a moment, struggling to hold back a genuine laughter that inevitably erupted.
Alice Wagner: “I’m sorry Jvstice, but I have no idea who that Ban Ki-Moon guy is…”
Way too young to remember the secretary-general of the United Nations, Alice missed the point of his comparison.
Alice Wagner: “But I know who Jvstice Hardy is, and I know he’s not letting anyone telling him how to live his life.”
She extended her hand across the table, gently squeezing his for a moment.
Alice Wagner: “Fathers are… some complicated beasts. One moment they are your heroes, someone you admire and look up to. And the next… They turn into your worst enemy. That is even more true in our messed up family.”
She hadn’t let go of her cousin’s hand through all her speech. That was both a way to somehow comfort him but, at the same time, she needed to keep the contact to remain strong herself. Jvstice and her hadn’t seen each other in a long time, but they never been as close as they were tonight, when they were opening the deepest recesses of their souls to each other.
Alice Wagner: “You can’t let this eat you up anymore, Jvstice. You are who you are, and who you are is a wonderful human being. And that will always be true, regardless of what uncle Nick thinks.”
He was very appreciative of her gentle squeeze on his arm, for some reason it kept him grounded, kept him from spiraling, and obviously helped him once again understand that her intentions were pure. Maybe they hadn’t always been this close, but he’d always felt like he and Alice did vibe best among his other family. It was just a deeper connection he supposed that didn’t have to explain.
Jvstice Hardy: “You’re right. I guess we can’t keep paying for our father’s sins. Got to make a few of our own.”
He smiled genuinely knowing she would get that he was picking on her twitter @, but only to hopefully loosen up some of the emotional moments they were putting each other through.
Jvstice Hardy: “You may say I'm the one who won’t quit, but you’re the brains of the family, truly Al, you’ve got the highest intellect. You always know just what to say.”
He paused thinking over everything she’d brought up. Whatever had been on his mind about wrestling in some tournament was pushed to the side. He was ready to have a good time with his cousin tonight.
Jvstice Hardy: ‘What do you say, we eat a little something and then get our drink on, I have a feeling alcohol is probably a little more similar than uhh. . . poutine. Whatever that is.”
He said with a laugh.
Alice Wagner: “Hmm.. Are eighteen years old allowed to drink here or should I use my fake ID?”
She said poking out her tongue in a playful way, emphasizing that she was only messing with the former cop.
Alice Wagner: “I’m actually going to try that poutine thing. Can’t be worse of the Blooze Bar burgers…”
He gave a somber smirk on that.
Jvstice Hardy: “I mean hell, anything is better than army chow, so you know what, why not?”
He supposed he’d try it too and see what it was all about though his main focus was just getting out of his head for a bit now and making sure he regained his focus. He felt like they’d both gotten a lot off their chest and what more could he ask for really in a nice little meet up with his cousin? He was excited to see her again and now they were going to experience the wonders of the Great White North together, even if only for a day.